And when I was on that show, I had to practise a lot. I was burning through mountains of butter, flour and eggs — churning out yet another cinnamon roll tower — and I had grocery deliveries arriving every day to keep me going.

And though this might sound ridiculous, I couldn’t understand how all of these ingredients kept arriving at my door within 30 minutes of realising I needed them — without me moving. Like, how do these companies work? How does food actually work?

Well, I looked into it, and it will shock no one that the answer involves a lot of bad things. For the people growing these ingredients, for the people selling them AND for our future selves about to buy them.

And that left me with no choice. I must return to the world of competitive baking — but this time, I have to bake the cake truly from scratch. I have to grow, milk, grind and chemistry-fy every ingredient that goes into the cake I will be entering into the Cake International Baking Show. I am specifically entering the Victoria sponge division.

That means I need to make flour, butter, eggs, jam, sugar and baking powder (because Mary Berry would always use self-raising flour). And I have until the 6th of November to complete this challenge.

So join me on what is bound to be a catastrophe of an adventure. I’ve already cried loads — but, like Bake Off, it’s hopefully the best decision I’ve ever made.